The research polled over four hundred thirtysomethings in the UK and USA and found that a lack of confidence directly affects every part of our lives. For example, even though more than four out of ten people (43%) said that they want to change careers, 22% said that they wouldn’t change due to a lack of confidence. 28% of people put off doing things due to a lack of confidence and of those people in committed relationships, more than one in ten (14%) had no confidence in the future of their relationship and gave it less than a year to survive, even though they said that they really wanted it to last ‘forever’.
According to Steve Errey, a UK based confidence coach, when people have high levels of confidence and self-esteem they feel ready to go for what they want in life, and are less prone to knock-backs or putting things off. “Confidence allows people to try different things, to not take things personally and to simply live the kind of life they want to live. When it’s lacking people start to feel like they’re stuck, failing, or not good enough to get what they want and it’s often the starting point for stress,
depression or life crisis.”
“My confidence had taken a real hammering from the break-up of my marriage and I felt like I didn’t have anything to smile about or to look forward to.” said Stephanie, one of Errey’s clients. “I knew that I needed to make changes but always put it off because I didn’t know where to start. When I learned to trust myself and my own intuition again I stopped questioning myself so much and accepted that I do actually know what’s best for me. I’m confident, vibrant and alive, and now I recognise that I refuse to let myself forget it again.”
“I’m amazed that this isn’t talked about, because it’s very real and seems to be becoming more commonplace.” says Errey. “I’m seeing more people than ever before coming to me to boost their confidence and self-esteem – people who appear to have full lives but feel that they can’t take the next step or that something central is missing. Apart from the obvious personal issues I really wonder what kind of larger impact that has on society, business and community.”
Steve Errey’s top five tips for a strong and confident summer are:
- Shut Your Gremlin Up. Your Gremlin is that voice in your head that says ‘you can’t’, ‘you’re not good enough’ or ‘there’s no point’. You wouldn’t let a best friend talk to you that way, so figure out when he’s talking and don’t let the little tinker win – you’re way better than he gives you credit for.
- Live In Line with Your Values. The times you’ve felt most confident or alive are when you’ve been living according to your personal values – the things in yourself, others or the world that are most important to you. You can get more of that feeling by living according to your values.
- Trust Yourself. We’re all scared sometimes and fear is a natural part of life. It’s a myth that you have to overcome your fears to succeed, but you don’t have to let them hold you back either. You will be okay, and you’ll never know what you can do unless you trust yourself and give it your best shot.
- Play to Your Strengths. You’re entirely unique and have all kinds of skills, talents, passions, ambitions and experiences that nobody can ever take away. Those things are in you right now, you can always trust them and they’re just waiting to be used.
- Create Something Shiny. Confidence and self-esteem can really be hit when you’re in a rut so it’s important to have something positive, compelling, attractive or shiny to work towards. Think about what would be great to have, do or be and plan to get there in about six months time.
Kaynak : 